


The Wicked and the Damned

by LoveRiverLove



Category: Deadman's Q, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:08:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21665719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveRiverLove/pseuds/LoveRiverLove
Summary: Yoshikage Kira is a vagabond soul in search of a peaceful eternity. His quest leads him to Italy where he finds himself perplexed by a man not bound by the rules of the living or the dead. They both have one thing in common, neither of them will go to heaven.
Relationships: Dead Man's Q, Diavolo & Kira Yoshikage (JoJo: Diamond is Unbreakable), JoJo Dead Man's Questions, Kira Yoshikage (JoJo: Diamond is Unbreakable)/Diavolo, kiraboss, kiravolo
Comments: 12
Kudos: 45





	1. Even saints lie

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! The story takes place in 2004, three years after the events of Vento Aureo and Deadman's Question. It picks up where the former left off. I hope you like it and even if you don't I would still love to hear what you think :)

"You bitch"

The man in the bowling hat stared into the monk's frightened eyes as his grasp became even tighter around her throat. His voice remained even and his expression only showed mild annoyance.

"Yoshikage…. Please.. You are hurting me" She managed to croak out. It would not be long until she lost consciousness and she knew it.

"So, I see you ARE trying to achieve sainthood. Thought you would do God's work and 'help' a poor soul pass on to the next plane huh?"

"I was… just trying to…. Help…." There was no use in struggling. The man had lifted her by her throat. Her eyes pleaded as they became glassy.

"Help? Look at me! As you can see, the cleansers did quite a little number on my arm.” He leaned in and whispered into her ear.

“ There was one thing that kept me sane during my time trying to determine whether you knew about the eggs and that was the thought that maybe, just maybe your arm would fit " He punctuated his sentence by holding up what was left of his severed limb.”

"Please.. You.. Need.. To.. Move.. On……" The world started fading.

Kira stared at her. He could see the color draining from her face as her usually pink lips turned a pale shade of blue. He took a deep breath and let go of the monk's throat allowing her to hit the ground with a loud thud. She loudly gasped for air and proceeded to cough, her throat marked with a large handprint. He crouched down to her eye level and looked at her seemingly unbothered by the sight of her struggling to get life back into her lungs.

"Not your call, Momoko. I think it is for the best if we stop seeing each other. I have enough money to find an apartment now anyway." 

He slowly walked away not bothering to look back.

It was a nice day, he thought. It was neither too hot or too cold and the sky was bluer than ever. He stopped by his favorite shop and admired the flowers for three minutes like he did every day.. They had tulips, his favorites. Maybe now that he was going to have his own place he would finally be able to paint them in peace. Yes, that sounded nice. He would wake up at 9 am, do a couple of stretches, and make breakfast while listening to the radio. Later, he would listen to an entire Wagner symphony while painting in his balcony. At night, he would watch the people go by while drinking a cup of tea, hell he may even read that silly book about noseless elephants. Finally, peace and tranquility. That was if things did not go like last time and a 'concerned' tenant started claiming there was suspicious activity going on which sooner or later would lead to him being evicted by a group of 'mediums' with nothing better to do than harass the dead.

On his path, he saw a curled-up soul whimpering and attempting to avoid the feet of the living who moved around rapidly, anxious to get home from work. The pitiful sight gave Yoshikage a wonderful idea. He bent slightly forward and stuck his hand out politely.

"Hello, I am Yoshikage Kira. I too am dead.” He giggled.

“Please pardon my foolishness, but I cannot believe I had not thought about this sooner is all" He coyly held a hand to his face as he gave the most innocent smile to the poor spirit who looked as though ready to start sobbing.

"As you can see, my arm appears to be missing. “ He punctuated his sentence by holding up his stump which was poorly draped with ripped cloth from his green suit.

“I think you can help my predicament.” With his remaining arm, he kicked down the soul who began wailing and frantically looking at the living for any kind of help.

“Now, now, please do not scream or struggle. You are going to make my head hurt. It isn't as though you are getting much use out of yours sitting here in this corner all day anyway so I don’t understand why you’re being such a pain."

Kira’s foot pressed down on the other ghost’s head as he hacked away at the poor things arm with his knife.

"There is a house with a couple of dogs down the street and I'm afraid I'm going to have to throw you over the fence if you don't stop causing such a scene." 

The way the man cutting his arm spoke scared him far more than the living ever had. Despite his horrible actions, it seemed like this was nothing to this man -no- this monster

"There, see? That wasn't so bad, was it? All done" 

Kira dropped the whimpering soul and walked off fitting the new arm into his stub. Surprisingly, the arm attached itself in a matter of seconds and he was able to use it relatively well.

He had spent the last couple of weeks sleeping in the house of a family who had been out on vacation. Unfortunately for him, they were coming back in a day or two so he would have to find a way to acquire his own space sooner than he had hoped. He sighed and glared at the setting sun.

"It's always a hassle figuring out where I will rest"

…... 

"Yoshikage!"

The familiar voice called from down the street followed by the clanking of wood on concrete. Oh great, what did she want? Just as predicted, the caller was none other than the monk he had been running errands for. He turned around both amused and exasperated, still hurt about her betrayal.

"Momoko? I thought I made myself clear yesterday." 

"Wait! I thought about it and you were right. It wasn't my place to send you to that house. By now you should know I am not a sentimental woman but.. Here.” She dug through her robes and produced a small object.

“Think of this as an apology"

She handed him a small piece of yellow paper with a number scribbled on top and the word "Poveglia" at the bottom. Kira looked down at it then back at her face. It was as expressionless as always but there was a small hint of something Kira could not quite read in her eyes.

“I don't work for you anymore" He announced while continuing to walk forward. The monk sped up and walked in front of him still holding the paper.

"Then think of it as a present from a friend" She pushed the paper closer towards Kira's closed fist.

'Friend'? He thought to himself. He had been working with her for the past three years but he had never thought of her as more than a boss really especially considering her stoic attitude towards him. Yet again she was, in fact, a monk, so that could be dismissed as part of her creed. Oh well.

"Why should I trust you?" He tilted his head and raised his brow. Momoko had to admit he did have a point. She had sent him in a suicide mission fairly recently, after all.

"You will not get what you seek in Morioh. There is simply too much going on but I know someone-"

"Let me guess another one of your 'friends'" Kira rolled his eyes sarcastically.

"I know someone that can help you get the quiet life you want." Momoko glared, she hated being interrupted.

"Fine, but for the record, if you are lying to me I will kill you this time. Do I make myself clear?" The tone of his voice let on that this was less of a threat and more of a matter-of-fact statement.

"Fair enough"

"Let me guess I'm going to have to offer my services to your 'friend'"

"A small price to pay for a lifetime of tranquility is it not?. My acquaintance has a very wealthy client who is looking for something-"

"Do I look like a bloodhound to you?"

"Stop interrupting"

Kira raised his hands defensively and listened on. He knew Momoko Okamoto well enough to know when to take her seriously and despite yesterday's actions, he acknowledged she was someone who's bad side he did not want to be on.

"As I was saying, he has a very wealthy client who is looking for something he has lost. Said item is very heavily guarded by a bunch of inconveniences that need to be dispatched, that's where you come in. They will explain more once you meet with them. In this paper, you will find the coordinates to the meetup spot as well as the code word you must say in order to prove you are who you say you are"

"You still haven't told me my reward."

"My friend knows of a place solely populated with people in your state.No living beings to beings to be seen"

"Go on"

"Your reward is enough money to buy a house or apartment in the location of the aforementioned place"

"What's the catch?"

"The meeting place is in Europe"

"Hm" 

"I will pay for your travel expenses. You don't even have to take the job just go to the meeting"

"I'll think about it" He opened his palm and allowed the paper to fall on it. The monk gave him a nod and went back to where she came from.

...

In the afternoon of the very same day, Yoshikage Kira found himself in the Morioh Library. It was a Saturday night, there were hardly any patrons which made the place rather pleasant. There he was able to sit down and perhaps figure out additional information on the mission. He could not find anything on the word "Poveglia" but he did locate the coordinates in the paper. It was a small café on the outsides of Sicily. Kira placed both hands under his chin.

"Italy, huh?"


	2. Goodbye Morioh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smetana's Moldau is an amazing piece 10/10 recommend listening to it before you die.

"My name is Yoshikage Kira. I don't remember when or how I died but I know one thing for certain. I am not going to heaven."

That phrase. It had become a mantra to him. It was a chance for him to ground himself and have at least something that makes sense, a way for him to accept the faith he was currently living.

He had been dead for almost four years now (or at least that is how long he thought it had been time gets hazy when one is dead). For the majority of the first year, he roamed around trying to figure out the new world he found himself in. He very quickly realized that this new world was heavily bound by a set of rules. For the most part, they involved staying out of the way of the living which was simple enough. The hard part came with missing what he had when he was alive (at least what he remembered). He could neither taste nor feel any physical object. He never felt hungry but thought it was a shame that he could not enjoy food any longer. He particularly resented this while passing a sandwich stand at the airport.

He figured walking in the airport was going to be a hassle but thankfully Momoko had Scheduled a very late flight meaning there would be fewer people to bump against separating him from his limbs.

He decided that for once he was not going to crumble up the ticket. The little paper read Business class, well he was technically going on a business trip. It was obvious the monk was trying to make amends, not that Kira minded the extra legroom and separation from other passengers. Kira looked around the empty terminal. What exactly was this mission? Momoko had been very vague. He began having second thoughts about coming. She had betrayed him last time after all.

No matter, he had to push his hesitance aside as it was time to board. There only seemed to be a handful of people on the flight and most of them were very old. No children, thank god. If he had to spend the next 13+ hours next to a screaming pile of snot he would crash the plane. Yet again that would probably mean getting stuck with the passengers for a while so maybe that was not the best idea.

He made his way to his seat. Kira looked around and for a second thought, one of the stewardesses looked right at him. He was very relieved to find that was not the case. That was one of the few silver linings of being a ghost, being literally invisible to most people. He never had to deal with uncomfortable small talk or answer questions from annoying tourists. His class was mostly empty so he was able to enjoy using his complimentary headphones to listen to classical music for the entire trip. If only he could enjoy a little bit of champagne…

The plane took off quietly. He saw the small town he had known all his life grow smaller and smaller until it fully disappeared under the clouds. He felt odd. Something inside him shifted but he was not quite able to tell what it was. Kira was not very good at putting a name to his own emotions a lot of times. It definitely did not help that sudden burst of emotions such as these seemed to be tied with flashbacks of his previous life. Most of the time it was simply a small snapshot, a memory of an insignificant moment being triggered by an equally insignificant event such as the smell of someone's perfume reminding him of a store he used to frequent. Other times, he was not so lucky. Other times the memories rushed in and overwhelmed him, knocking him to the ground and making his spectral body ache. He didn't like thinking about those memories and stirred clear of anything he thought might make him remember them.

Kira watched the sunrise as Smetana's Moldau played. He drew a content sigh at the sight of the pinks and oranges of the sky kissing the horizon as the sound of violins swirled in his ear. Despite not wanting to admit it, he was looking forward to the job now or rather the prospect of it being legit.

"How odd" he chuckled to himself as he carelessly flipped through the travel magazines "a ghost on a plane traveling practically across the globe."

…

The Italian airport was much more crowded. He carefully wove through the crowd avoiding any accidental touching. Unfortunately, he found himself almost falling in front of a drug detection dog. The large black German Shepherd snarled its teeth and lunged at him pulling its distracted handler so close to Kira he almost went right through him. Kira managed to scurry away and hid behind a wall.

"That was a close call. I ought to be more careful if I want to arrive in one piece"

He closed his eyes and composed himself. There was a rather pleasant smell in the air. Freshly baked bread. His heart sank slightly but he quickly shook his self-pity aside.

"Focus, there is a job to do…hopefully"

He walked down the streets of the Italian town admiring the way old architecture blended in seamlessly with the new one. He didn't care much for travel when he was alive but now he thought that maybe he should have volunteered for more business trips.

…  
A couple of streets away a man sat at a table impatiently tapping his foot against the floor. His heel making an angry click against the pavement. Leaning against the adjacent wall, was a priest with a Bluetooth in one ear. The priest gave the other man an anxious look.

"Will you cut that out already? All that tapping is giving me the heebie-jeebies"  
"He's late"  
"Maybe the flight got delayed. Patience is a virtue you know? He probably has a good reason for being late"

The man rolled his eyes and the priest shrugged.  
…

Kira had wandered on to the flea market. He saw beautifully handcrafted leatherwear, the most exquisite works of art from local artists, and a couple of teenagers playing a delightful tune on the violin. As far as Yoshikage Kira was concerned, this place was everything he had ever dreamed of. He hid behind a market tent and whispered to the man running it.

"Excuse me, could I get the time?"  
"Oh, of course, it is 13:30"  
"Thank you"  
"Anyti-" the old merchant turned as if to see where the voice came from just to find no one there. He looked around in search of the source but quickly gave up when a young woman asked him the price of a handbag.

Kira continued walking down the street, searching for the rendezvous point. He found what he was looking for and approached the shop.

"Finally, the café. Now I just have to find a priest" Before Kira had the opportunity to look around he heard a man in front of him speak.

"Excuse me"

Kira looked over his shoulder to look for the person the man was addressing but found no one behind him. He turned to face the speaker once more. Was the man talking to him?

"Yes, you. I believe you have a message for me" The man pointed directly at Kira and shot him a wink. There was no longer any doubt in his mind this was the person he was supposed to meet. Kira circled him like a shark while looking him up and down.

"You are Momoko's friend, right?" The priest raised an eyebrow seemingly unbothered by having his personal space invaded.

"That's me. I expected you to be a lot... Older" Kira stopped and faced the priest taking a very good look at his face. The priest's white hair was swept to the side boyishly and instead of religious attire, he wore an off the shoulder tunic with a golden cross belt. He looked like he was in his mid 20's.

"Oh, believe me, I am old enough, I just moisturize. Now the code word, if you please"

"Right. Poveglia".

The priest gave Kira a large smile and clapped his hands excitedly.

"Welcome …?"

"Yoshikage"

"Yoshikage! I am Father Pomodoro Fastidio"

Fastidio extended a hand towards Kira who did not shake and instead chose to continue to stare him down.

"Quick question are you-"

"Dead? No."

"I don't really care about that. What I was going to say was "are you the one who I will be working for""

As he had finished that last sentence, a man on the nearest table started coughing loudly. He wore what looked like an extremely expensive suit and had long pink hair neatly held back with a loose ponytail. The priest continued speaking completely disregarding the choking.

"Oh goodness no, I'm simply a helper. I must say you arrived at the perfect time"

The coughing grew louder as the man began thrashing around gathering attention from other patrons. Kira could hardly hear the priest over all the noise.

"You see my friend has a bit of a predicament and he could really use someone in your line of work to.. Er.. help him sort it out"

"So I'm going to be working for a friend of a friend of a friend?" Asked Kira, growing increasingly more irritated with the background noise and everyone’s use of the word ‘friend’. 

Other patrons started yelling to call the paramedics. The choking man clawed desperately at his throat in a last attempt to breathe. His lips had turned completely blue and his face was contorted in panic. His mouth foamed and his eyes began rolling to the back of his head.

"And just who is this friend ?" Kira was practically yelling in order to be heard at this point.

Fastidio's face lit up with excitement.

"Him" the priest look pointed at the choking man just as his head slammed against the table and dropped dead.


End file.
